Mel, I totally felt like this at 21. I had only had 2 semi-serious relationships and didn't see any possibilities in my future. I was in a bad place. I had oodles of friends, a few close ones too. But I just didn't feel complete.
Then one day I just said fuck it. If there are no boys for me, too bad for them. I wrote a one woman one act play/stand-up to vent what I was feeling. It helped alot. And I was lucky to be able to perform it, in front of a lot of people. The best part was the reaction I got from the audience. They loved it. Someone said that I was something like "Margaret Cho". It was freeing and exhilarating.
Then I got into Faire. I bought a season pass and got to know Brian and Phil. They helped me a little. More or less in the big brother sort of way. Whenever I felt sad or lonely, I popped in one of the videos I have of their stage act. And poof, sadness gone to laughter.
And then when I least expected it, there was Eric. It's so odd how those cliche's ring so true sometimes. I wasn't looking for anyone at that particular moment, but he caught my eye, and you know the rest of the story.
It's all about patience. Whether you like it or not. God knows there were times when all I wanted to do was scream and cry and throw things. Sometimes I actually did it too. But it will all pass. And then when you least expect it, you'll meet someone. And hopefully he'll be a nice guy that will be there for the long haul, or at least for a year or more. A guy that won't mind traveling to see you...just to talk or sit in a comfortable silence. A guy that likes what you like, but also has his own interests to introduce you to new things.
It's a shitty thing to say, but it's true. You just have to wait.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2003-11-24 04:57 pm (UTC)Then one day I just said fuck it. If there are no boys for me, too bad for them. I wrote a one woman one act play/stand-up to vent what I was feeling. It helped alot. And I was lucky to be able to perform it, in front of a lot of people. The best part was the reaction I got from the audience. They loved it. Someone said that I was something like "Margaret Cho". It was freeing and exhilarating.
Then I got into Faire. I bought a season pass and got to know Brian and Phil. They helped me a little. More or less in the big brother sort of way. Whenever I felt sad or lonely, I popped in one of the videos I have of their stage act. And poof, sadness gone to laughter.
And then when I least expected it, there was Eric. It's so odd how those cliche's ring so true sometimes. I wasn't looking for anyone at that particular moment, but he caught my eye, and you know the rest of the story.
It's all about patience. Whether you like it or not. God knows there were times when all I wanted to do was scream and cry and throw things. Sometimes I actually did it too. But it will all pass. And then when you least expect it, you'll meet someone. And hopefully he'll be a nice guy that will be there for the long haul, or at least for a year or more. A guy that won't mind traveling to see you...just to talk or sit in a comfortable silence. A guy that likes what you like, but also has his own interests to introduce you to new things.
It's a shitty thing to say, but it's true. You just have to wait.
Hope this helps. At least a little bit.
Love ya girlie!!!!