there must be something here

[learning2fly]

can you explain
if truly his heart was made of icing
and I wonder
how mine could taste

Just to get this off my chest: Sometimes it is far too easy to let the darkness inside me take over. I'm a giving person with a big heart and so much love to give, yet I haven't found that right person to give it to. My loneliness eats away at me every day. I wonder, when I do find someone, will I want it to work so much that I'll put on rose colored glasses and force it to work despite being wrong? I hate sleeping alone every night. I want to be loved. I want to be cherished. I want to wake up in someone's arms every morning.


Friday night after work I took Mom out to downtown Racine (wow. fancy.) to check out Sheepish, a store I adore and out to dinner. We got there before the cutoff for the night so we had to plug the meter. I went back into the car to fish out some more change, setting down my keys on the seat. When I got out, I locked the door and closed it, leaving the keys there, locked in. gaaaaaaaaah. Luckily, my car has free roadside assistance, so they sent some guy to come bail me out. We had a nice dinner at a pizzeria on Main that I've never been to. They serve the pizza on little pedestals like Pizza Man does. Nice.
Saturday morning I skipped kickboxing to go over to Grandpa's with Dad and help them out. I didn't do much other than go on a chocolate milk run and help with transfers. Mom and I made peanut butter cookies for Sweetest Day and brought some of them over to Grandpa. He ate a huge one, which is more than he's eaten in a while. So that's good. Later on I went to the gym and did some light weight lifting followed by 40 minutes running on the elliptical. I'm up to 40 minutes! That's a LOT for me. Next week I have a follow up weigh-in with the nutritionist. I'm interested to see what changed so far. Nothing, as far as I can tell.
That evening I went down to Chicago (in record time, even though I was late getting there) to see Becky and Eric. They took me with them to a Midnight Madness rehearsal. Yes, Melissa has found herself with the balls to go for finally joining a Rocky Horror Picture Show cast. For now I'm going to start as a Trannie and maybe do the lips dance during Science Fiction/Double Feature and whatever else they might need me to do. And maybe, if all goes well, I will understudy Magenta.
Later, after driving around in circles trying to find parking, we checked out the Alley's shoe collection and had some sweet potato fries at Clarks. The wait staff left much to be desired, but the food was awesome. I managed to drive home despite being really tired (thank god I had The Darkness in my car. I blared that most of the way home. It's cheesy fluffy fun music. I love it). I whittled off a few more chapters of Sweep, book 7, finally going to bed around 3:30. I slept in like mad, about 10 hours worth. It felt great. My electric blanket is my new best friend. Seriously. Makes me never want to get up.
This morning I joined my parents and Nana and Bampa for the second half of the Packer game. They played a good game. Holy crap! We didn't suck! (and the Bears lost, Wisconsin Badgers won. woot). I stole Heather away for a while, hunting down some rubber snakes. We didn't find any yet, after checking out Toys R Us and K-mart. Why rubber snakes you ask? Well, I stumbled upon the perfect idea for a halloween costume. I'm going to wear my old red velvet (and VERY not period) renaissance dress I wore to Nate's prom with my hair up in curls mixed with little rubber snakes and VOILA! Medusa!! I have decided I'm going to Madison to Miss April's party. Which reminds me: ruby_soulsinger/Paige: if you're reading this, when are you planning on leaving on Saturday? I figured since you, me and Tim are all going we might as well carpool. :)
And while I'm flagging people down, adf_carfax and missharley, Jay tells me ya'll are having a party the weekend after Halloween. Is that still happening? I'd love to get all dressed up again. yep yep.

For those interested, I took some decent shots of downtown Chicago from my date from last weekend. enjoy!
I'm sorry to say there's only one decent shot of Mike, although I'd hardly call it a good one. It's kind of a neat perspective though, with us looking into the reflective sculpture. I love Millennium Park! So pretty! I hope someday there will be a good show at the amphitheater so we can go. Mike wanted to run up onstage and yell 'hellooooooo Chicago!!'
I don't know about that one. He's really cool and everything, very smart, has a good sense of humor. Has a good job. Loves music. But he doesn't want to have a relationship with me. I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I do. I feel like maybe if I was different he wouldn't be so afraid to open up. Come on though, I'm as friendly and easy to get along with as anybody. really. I haven't heard from him since our date last Sunday. who knows.

well, that's all for now. Must go, Aqua Teen is on!

Comments

[corenrind]

1. Halloween costume!

2. Me and your electric blankie are gonna have to duke some things out, then. Which is code for: I will steal it.

3. Awww. And, I love the one of you guys in the bean or whatever they're calling it. Have you ever seen the Mirror Project website? I bet there will be a lot of neat ones coming out of Chicago now. I've always wanted to submit to it.

4. I miss you. Am in a little funk myself. I wish I could just get all my friends over and we would snuggle into the bed and watch movies. Love you, you win.

[rubinia.livejournal.com]

I'm actually going to La Crosse that weekend, and then Devin and I are going to drive down to Madison from there. But if you don't mind giving me a ride home on Sunday...that would be great! :)

[beckysioux.livejournal.com]

Speaking of Pizza Man, I want some Hawaiian Pizza. That was really good. Who knew that cream cheese and pineapple would be good on a pizza.

I guess I'll have to find a substitute down here till after Halloween as my calendar is full of Rocky related stuff.

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

You know, I can't remember ever going to the art museum other than elementary school. I just about fell over when I found the Seurat. Just seeing it in person blew me away. Poor Mike didn't know what to do with me. I couldn't stop looking at it for the longest time...he'd wander off and come back and there I am, jaw on the floor, just the way he left me. I kept imagining all the characters in the painting and heard Bernadette in my ear complaining about the heat...

awwww.

GOD I would *love* to cuddle up with you and watch movies right now. Wish I had the funds to come see you. Maybe next year.

also: cool website! awesome pictures. I like the concept.

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

damn damn damn. Oh well, just thought I'd ask.

you can hitch a ride back if you wish. what are you dressing up as?

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

Aren't you glad you tried it? so good. mmmmmmmmmmm.

I'm always up for pizza man. Whenever your schedule opens up maybe we can go see the oriental's Sensual Daydreams Rocky cast and grab some pizza man.

oh that sounds good. Also, we need to take along Mike. That boy took his date to a Halloween show a couple years ago, not knowing what he was getting into and got so freaked out that they left 20 minutes in. I feel obligated to clear Rocky's bad name for him.

[rubinia.livejournal.com]

Umm...captain hooker? Just want to wear my Moresca corset. It all depends on how the skirt part of my costume works out.

[rubinia.livejournal.com]

That cream cheese/artichoke pizza was orgasmic. I can feel the juices running down my thighs just thinking about it! :O

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

TMI TMI TMI!!!!!!!!!! eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewww!

[squelch84.livejournal.com]

howdy! this is Chris from the Rocky cast! welcome aboard!

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

hiya! and thanks!

It was cool meeting you all on Saturday.

[squelch84.livejournal.com]

likewise.
so I see you're a Tori fan... do you have a favorite album?

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

All of them?

no seriously, I like her early stuff (Pele and earlier) vs. Strange Little Girls and Scarlet's Walk.
although I'm getting into her Venus and Back album now. very spacy.
you?

[squelch84.livejournal.com]

Little Earthquakes all the way. but I like everything up to Boys for Pele. she sorta lost me after that. I don't know if I just haven't given those a chance. I did like her Slayer cover though... come to think of it, I like all of her covers.
Little Earthquakes came out during a pretty difficult time in my life and it really hit home, so it's forever gonna sit next Disintegration by the Cure, the Queen is Dead by the Smiths and Nevermind by Nirvana as one of those albums that hits home everytime I hear it.

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

right on!

[adf-carfax.livejournal.com]

Yep, that would be true, on Sat. the 6th there will be party going on. Costume required, we pretty much provide the rest.

So we'll hope to see you then, if not sooner

[beckysioux.livejournal.com]

Have you found any of the rubber snakes yet? If not, try a party store. They usually have them there.

[missharley.livejournal.com]

my darling, I better see uour ass at my party..ad all the rest of your sassy self as well.
love always,
Harley

[learning2fly.livejournal.com]

My Dad and I are going down to Georgia that weekend. I won't be able to make it. I'm so dissapointed!!! I miss you and wanted to see you!