Valentine's day can go to hell and die.
Feb. 9th, 2002 09:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
learning2flyI long for the day when I can listen to the opening chords of 'Shine on You Crazy Diamond' or 'Wish You Were Here' without falling to pieces.
could I be more pathetic than I am right now? Seriously!?!? I go to a party and cry at being reminded of how lonely I really am. I cry when Nate stops by for a surpise visit after not seeing him in ages.
Fucking Valentines day. Making me stop to think as I eat a hershey kiss that this is the only kiss I've gotten in almost two years. This is what I've been reduced to. Kisses in chocolate form.
Oh bloody freakin hell.
Please rid me of my ridiculous obsession with love.
I can't keep living like this. I can't keep clinging to my fairy tale/Romeo and Juliet dreams and ideals. It's never going to happen. I allowed myself to give my trust to one not trustworthy and now I pay the price. I'll never be the same again. Yet, I still dream of finding my true love. Who am I kidding? He's probably taken one look at me and walked away. I'm not worthy or deserving of anything that wonderful.
Still, I thirst for it with every fiber of my being.
round and round we go.
could I be more pathetic than I am right now? Seriously!?!? I go to a party and cry at being reminded of how lonely I really am. I cry when Nate stops by for a surpise visit after not seeing him in ages.
Fucking Valentines day. Making me stop to think as I eat a hershey kiss that this is the only kiss I've gotten in almost two years. This is what I've been reduced to. Kisses in chocolate form.
Oh bloody freakin hell.
Please rid me of my ridiculous obsession with love.
I can't keep living like this. I can't keep clinging to my fairy tale/Romeo and Juliet dreams and ideals. It's never going to happen. I allowed myself to give my trust to one not trustworthy and now I pay the price. I'll never be the same again. Yet, I still dream of finding my true love. Who am I kidding? He's probably taken one look at me and walked away. I'm not worthy or deserving of anything that wonderful.
Still, I thirst for it with every fiber of my being.
round and round we go.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Listen (do wah ooo)/ Do you want to know a secret? (do wah ooo)/ Do you promise not to tell?....
Date: 2002-02-12 06:45 am (UTC).....I love you!!!
I can see every time I see you (okay, not EVERY time, but pretty close), that you're making strives to accept and love yourself. I really do, and I've always been cheering you on from the sidelines.
I completely believe in the power of fate, and I believe in your case that what you're experiencing is to prepare yourself for bigger and better things coming your way. I only hope to God that they come asap.....like 5 minutes ago!!!! You know that ancient saying that you won't really appreciate something until it's taken away from you? It's true....and love will return to you, and you will feel it stronger inside than you thought was humanly possible.
I wish I could help. Please tell me if there's anything I can do. Please forgive me if you think I'm being insensitive and trite. I'm trying to help, I am!
:* on your gorgeous head.
p.s. I'll try to call you tonight.... I was at work last night, that's why my voice mail picked up....thanks so much for talking to your Physical Therapist teachers for me :)