smash your head against the wall

this is exactly why I remained anonymous. so this B.S. wouldn't happen.
there. I said it. I think that April was being cruel and wrong to say things she doesn't know or understand about Sheena. I felt that I needed to say what I did, but didn't log in as myself because I knew that April probably wouldn't talk to me ever again. What kind of friendship do we have then? Honesty and trust are VERY important to me. If I can't be honest with my friends then there's something very very wrong. Yes, I feel regretful for making my opinion so laced with emotion, particularly anger, so it came off as an attack on April. Then to make things worse, April was in town a few days after, so I played innocent and denied it for the sake of keeping the peace while she was home. This barely justifies what I did, but it's the truth. Out on display for anyone to know. I felt the need to back up sheena and it turned into an opportunity to bring out another topic that's been bothering me- April's new lifestyle. I have NO right to criticize or judge how you live your life. God knows I am in no possible way better or more mature than you. It's overwhelmingly frustrating to just sit by and watch you make poor choices that lead to or will lead to more hurt. Being in love is a wonderful thing. I'm so glad you're in love.
I'm just extremely worried and concerned about you, since I consider myself a part of your life. well, not anymore, but I was. I still care very much for you, April. I want you to be happy and free to live your life. I just wonder if you know what you want, right from wrong, your ideals and all that. Last time I brought that up you were hurt but we didn't discuss it. Well, I'm laying it all out today, so take it or leave it. Whatever you want. You go live your life however the hell you feel like it. But I'm always here if you need me. Why the hell do I keep saying that? No one needs me anyway.

Now for the current bullshit. I DID NOT write the newest anonymous comment.
April's self love fest entry pissed off a lot of people, including me. Part of it was sarcasm, but part of it was true. I wish I could understand a way to discuss this without sounding judgemental or emotional. Fuck. This is emotional. We all care about each other so much that it's hard not to be emotional. Life would be so much easier if we were all vulcan, you know?
The big issue at hand is the fact that megan got caught in the middle of all this. She had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. Now she's not talking to me because I apparently went off and told april about Dave. I don't remember talking about her to april. Why would I? the two groups have nothing in common. If I did, I'd probably be asking for advice on how to get meg to leave Dave and save some hurt. I've been racking my brain all weekend and today and still can't remember a time I did that. Sorry I don't tape record all my conversations. Maybe I should.
April said some awful things to meg out of anger. I wish things could have been different but the seeds have been sewn and there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it. I still love all of you guys. april and meg. and sheena and nate and paige and emma and laura. I wish there was some way we could work this out.
If anyone still wants to try, I'm here. I'm waving the white flag. Peace my sistas.
enough of this shit throwing. LJ was supposed to be a way for us to get things out there and heard. A way for long distances to seem a little closer by checking up on each other. Can we please keep it that way? I have to go to neuro now, but I will write more later. Please let this be over.

smash your head against the wall

this is exactly why I remained anonymous. so this B.S. wouldn't happen.
there. I said it. I think that April was being cruel and wrong to say things she doesn't know or understand about Sheena. I felt that I needed to say what I did, but didn't log in as myself because I knew that April probably wouldn't talk to me ever again. What kind of friendship do we have then? Honesty and trust are VERY important to me. If I can't be honest with my friends then there's something very very wrong. Yes, I feel regretful for making my opinion so laced with emotion, particularly anger, so it came off as an attack on April. Then to make things worse, April was in town a few days after, so I played innocent and denied it for the sake of keeping the peace while she was home. This barely justifies what I did, but it's the truth. Out on display for anyone to know. I felt the need to back up sheena and it turned into an opportunity to bring out another topic that's been bothering me- April's new lifestyle. I have NO right to criticize or judge how you live your life. God knows I am in no possible way better or more mature than you. It's overwhelmingly frustrating to just sit by and watch you make poor choices that lead to or will lead to more hurt. Being in love is a wonderful thing. I'm so glad you're in love.
I'm just extremely worried and concerned about you, since I consider myself a part of your life. well, not anymore, but I was. I still care very much for you, April. I want you to be happy and free to live your life. I just wonder if you know what you want, right from wrong, your ideals and all that. Last time I brought that up you were hurt but we didn't discuss it. Well, I'm laying it all out today, so take it or leave it. Whatever you want. You go live your life however the hell you feel like it. But I'm always here if you need me. Why the hell do I keep saying that? No one needs me anyway.

Now for the current bullshit. I DID NOT write the newest anonymous comment.
April's self love fest entry pissed off a lot of people, including me. Part of it was sarcasm, but part of it was true. I wish I could understand a way to discuss this without sounding judgemental or emotional. Fuck. This is emotional. We all care about each other so much that it's hard not to be emotional. Life would be so much easier if we were all vulcan, you know?
The big issue at hand is the fact that megan got caught in the middle of all this. She had absolutely nothing to do with any of this. Now she's not talking to me because I apparently went off and told april about Dave. I don't remember talking about her to april. Why would I? the two groups have nothing in common. If I did, I'd probably be asking for advice on how to get meg to leave Dave and save some hurt. I've been racking my brain all weekend and today and still can't remember a time I did that. Sorry I don't tape record all my conversations. Maybe I should.
April said some awful things to meg out of anger. I wish things could have been different but the seeds have been sewn and there's not a damn thing any of us can do about it. I still love all of you guys. april and meg. and sheena and nate and paige and emma and laura. I wish there was some way we could work this out.
If anyone still wants to try, I'm here. I'm waving the white flag. Peace my sistas.
enough of this shit throwing. LJ was supposed to be a way for us to get things out there and heard. A way for long distances to seem a little closer by checking up on each other. Can we please keep it that way? I have to go to neuro now, but I will write more later. Please let this be over.