I'm no heroine

you think i wouldn't have him
unless i could have him by the balls
you think i just dish it out
you don't think i take it at all
you think i am stronger
you think i walk taller than the rest
you think i'm usually wearing the pants
just 'cause i rarely wear a dress

well...

when you look at me
you see my purpose,
see my pride
you think i just saddle up my anger
and ride and ride and ride
you think i stand so firm
you think i sit so high on my trusty steed
let me tell you
i'm usually face down on the ground
when there's a stampede

i'm no heroine
at least, not last time i checked
i'm too easy to roll over
i'm too easy to wreck
i just write about
what i should have done
i just sing
what i wish i could say
and hope somewhere
some woman hears my music
and it helps her through her day

'cause some guy designed
these shoes i use to walk around
some big man's business turns a profit
every time i lay my money down
some guy designed the room i'm standing in
another built it with his own tools
who says i like right angles?
these are not my laws
there are not my rules

i'm no heroine
i still answer to the other half of the race
i don't fool myself
like i fool you
i don't have the power
we just don't run this place

-A.D. (duh) :)

I'm no heroine

you think i wouldn't have him
unless i could have him by the balls
you think i just dish it out
you don't think i take it at all
you think i am stronger
you think i walk taller than the rest
you think i'm usually wearing the pants
just 'cause i rarely wear a dress

well...

when you look at me
you see my purpose,
see my pride
you think i just saddle up my anger
and ride and ride and ride
you think i stand so firm
you think i sit so high on my trusty steed
let me tell you
i'm usually face down on the ground
when there's a stampede

i'm no heroine
at least, not last time i checked
i'm too easy to roll over
i'm too easy to wreck
i just write about
what i should have done
i just sing
what i wish i could say
and hope somewhere
some woman hears my music
and it helps her through her day

'cause some guy designed
these shoes i use to walk around
some big man's business turns a profit
every time i lay my money down
some guy designed the room i'm standing in
another built it with his own tools
who says i like right angles?
these are not my laws
there are not my rules

i'm no heroine
i still answer to the other half of the race
i don't fool myself
like i fool you
i don't have the power
we just don't run this place

-A.D. (duh) :)

...to see how long our swan song can last

Week three as a Physical Therapist Assistant has begun. (GOD I love having Mondays off. Weeks are half over before they begin!! ::evil laugh::) I had lots of patients today and did very well if I may say so myself. I think I'm getting the hang of being in charge. After playing second fiddle to all my internship supervisors, it feels scary yet awesome to have the power to make changes and take the lead.
Last weekend was both wonderful and god awful all at once. The wonderful fabulous magnanimous Miss Elizabeth Kies came home from NYC for the weekend and her dad and I surprised her with dinner at Olive Garden friday night. She didn't know I was going to be there and poof! there I was! Surprise!! :)
((and hope you have a WONDERFUL 21st birthday on the 5th!))
I missed that Liz more than I can say.
As for Saturday, it was week two of BAPA and right away I was knocked to the ground at the sight of Randy with his arms wrapped around another girl. Granted, dealing with the breakup was far too easy to ignore with all the business going on with classes, work, graduation, etc. and now that I actually have to see him face to face things are very different. There's much more to it than that but I don't want to talk about it anymore. Long story short, I'm not over him at all. I was still very hurt that he seemed to not care about the thing I don't want to talk about (don't you love the vagueness??) and was even more hurt when he didn't expect me to be upset about being replaced so easily. He met this girl that week and is already telling people he wants a deep relationship with her. Granted, I was feeling like my usual unlovable ugly cow self and didn't need anything more than a gentle nudge to continue my downward spiral of doom...
ughhh. it was a long ass day and all I could think about was him. I felt like such shit. Luckily I had Mr. Tim to knock me out of my funk and take me out for some awesome mexican food. And poor Becky and Eric were good sports about putting up with my silent staring, glazed expression and random bouts of bitching all day long. Sorry guys...
At least I learned to juggle!! Three ball cascade. sort of.
The day wasn't totally lost. I finally collapsed at home on the sofa and was surrounded by more negative vibes from my pissed off mother. Dad was trying to cheer her up with no success. We were watching Malcom in the Middle when I turned to my left just in time to catch Mom mouthing "you're so naughty" to Dad... I immediately shuddered, stood up, walked to my room, picked up my keys and drove far far away. You would think my disgusted looks would be enough of an explanation. but no. they were pretty pissed when I got home. Ever since then dad's been in a funk. so much of a funk in fact that he didn't wish Heather a happy birthday yesterday. strange, no? My late night fleeing wasn't a total loss, I snuck in a nice visit with Matt and we both went over to see Mark Urban. I haven't seen that guy in 3 years. Still just as sweet and goofy. awwwww.
Sunday was just as fab. Rehearsal was with my dance troupe only, all day. Becky was right about the changes. "Polishing" as steve likes to call it. We're doing crazy extra stuff all over the place and have to do each step perfectly. egad. Mid morning we met up with the crazy street folk and worked on character development. Thanks to everyone brainstorming with me I have some really great directions I can take with Phoebe this year. It's gonna be fuuuuun. Tim and I lost each other at the end of the day but found each other from across the sun garden and ran to each other in slow motion. he's so crazay.
On Monday, I got my car stereo fixed (which promptly re-broke itself that night.) and got my soul back from Capital One. It felt so good to cut up that eeeevil 25% APR piece of sheeeit. don't let the trendy leopard print fool you. it's eeeeeeeeeeeevil.
Then I picked up Tim from Park, confused the hell out of the burger king drive thru attendant and drove to Mayfair Mall to meet up with Ann Elizabeth (my seamstress AND Jane the Phoole, jester to the Queen). We all had a ball gettin rowdy in the fabric store. I'm going to have the most kick assin garb evah! No one can resist Phoebe Scarlet!! Mwah hah haaaa!
::ahem::
I'm ok now. Let's see...we had some yummy krispie cremes and visited AE's studio, drove home and Tim let me attempt to not suck at Dance Dance Revolution while he made us some crazy yet yumtastic ramen noodle creation with garlic, eggs and green tea. I was so proud to use my newly acquired ability to use chopsticks and watch anime with him.
*YOU ROCK TIM!!* :)
And then I raided Liz's apartment in hopes of catching her before she flies back to the big apple with success. It's not so bad saying goodbye knowing you'll be back in a month. I can live with that.

**LOVE YOU ALL!**
Hope you're having great summers so far.

::blows kisses::

ta ta dahlings.

...to see how long our swan song can last

Week three as a Physical Therapist Assistant has begun. (GOD I love having Mondays off. Weeks are half over before they begin!! ::evil laugh::) I had lots of patients today and did very well if I may say so myself. I think I'm getting the hang of being in charge. After playing second fiddle to all my internship supervisors, it feels scary yet awesome to have the power to make changes and take the lead.
Last weekend was both wonderful and god awful all at once. The wonderful fabulous magnanimous Miss Elizabeth Kies came home from NYC for the weekend and her dad and I surprised her with dinner at Olive Garden friday night. She didn't know I was going to be there and poof! there I was! Surprise!! :)
((and hope you have a WONDERFUL 21st birthday on the 5th!))
I missed that Liz more than I can say.
As for Saturday, it was week two of BAPA and right away I was knocked to the ground at the sight of Randy with his arms wrapped around another girl. Granted, dealing with the breakup was far too easy to ignore with all the business going on with classes, work, graduation, etc. and now that I actually have to see him face to face things are very different. There's much more to it than that but I don't want to talk about it anymore. Long story short, I'm not over him at all. I was still very hurt that he seemed to not care about the thing I don't want to talk about (don't you love the vagueness??) and was even more hurt when he didn't expect me to be upset about being replaced so easily. He met this girl that week and is already telling people he wants a deep relationship with her. Granted, I was feeling like my usual unlovable ugly cow self and didn't need anything more than a gentle nudge to continue my downward spiral of doom...
ughhh. it was a long ass day and all I could think about was him. I felt like such shit. Luckily I had Mr. Tim to knock me out of my funk and take me out for some awesome mexican food. And poor Becky and Eric were good sports about putting up with my silent staring, glazed expression and random bouts of bitching all day long. Sorry guys...
At least I learned to juggle!! Three ball cascade. sort of.
The day wasn't totally lost. I finally collapsed at home on the sofa and was surrounded by more negative vibes from my pissed off mother. Dad was trying to cheer her up with no success. We were watching Malcom in the Middle when I turned to my left just in time to catch Mom mouthing "you're so naughty" to Dad... I immediately shuddered, stood up, walked to my room, picked up my keys and drove far far away. You would think my disgusted looks would be enough of an explanation. but no. they were pretty pissed when I got home. Ever since then dad's been in a funk. so much of a funk in fact that he didn't wish Heather a happy birthday yesterday. strange, no? My late night fleeing wasn't a total loss, I snuck in a nice visit with Matt and we both went over to see Mark Urban. I haven't seen that guy in 3 years. Still just as sweet and goofy. awwwww.
Sunday was just as fab. Rehearsal was with my dance troupe only, all day. Becky was right about the changes. "Polishing" as steve likes to call it. We're doing crazy extra stuff all over the place and have to do each step perfectly. egad. Mid morning we met up with the crazy street folk and worked on character development. Thanks to everyone brainstorming with me I have some really great directions I can take with Phoebe this year. It's gonna be fuuuuun. Tim and I lost each other at the end of the day but found each other from across the sun garden and ran to each other in slow motion. he's so crazay.
On Monday, I got my car stereo fixed (which promptly re-broke itself that night.) and got my soul back from Capital One. It felt so good to cut up that eeeevil 25% APR piece of sheeeit. don't let the trendy leopard print fool you. it's eeeeeeeeeeeevil.
Then I picked up Tim from Park, confused the hell out of the burger king drive thru attendant and drove to Mayfair Mall to meet up with Ann Elizabeth (my seamstress AND Jane the Phoole, jester to the Queen). We all had a ball gettin rowdy in the fabric store. I'm going to have the most kick assin garb evah! No one can resist Phoebe Scarlet!! Mwah hah haaaa!
::ahem::
I'm ok now. Let's see...we had some yummy krispie cremes and visited AE's studio, drove home and Tim let me attempt to not suck at Dance Dance Revolution while he made us some crazy yet yumtastic ramen noodle creation with garlic, eggs and green tea. I was so proud to use my newly acquired ability to use chopsticks and watch anime with him.
*YOU ROCK TIM!!* :)
And then I raided Liz's apartment in hopes of catching her before she flies back to the big apple with success. It's not so bad saying goodbye knowing you'll be back in a month. I can live with that.

**LOVE YOU ALL!**
Hope you're having great summers so far.

::blows kisses::

ta ta dahlings.