set fire to your grandma

****I finally heard what you were talking about liz.
candy shop will never be the same**********

I'm sorry for ignoring you lately, mr livejournal. I don't mean to. I've just been busy trying to squeeze these last few days of vacation for all they're worth. I start second semester on Tuesday.
I think I'm ready, though. A lot of work to take on, but ready. Sometimes I let myself feel like I'm not capable of succeeding in my classes. There's so much info to absorb, it's hard to handle. But now I can remember to breathe, keep everything IN PERSPECTIVE, and do as much as I can freaking stand (not that it's ever that simple when I'm actually in the moment). That's all I need.

AND I'm proud to announce that I have officially lost 15 pounds. I'm working out at aurora, pretending I'm a jock.......and watching what I eat. I feel a little better about myself. I feel in control of my self image. It's going to take me a long time to rid myself as thin and willowy. It's not who I am. Even if I did starve myself down to that size, I'll be sick, weak, and look like a deflated shell of my real self. I finally realized I don't want that. I want to be myself. Healthy and happy. Able to do whatever my heart chooses.

well, maybe not fly.......
literally anyway.
One day I'll look in the mirror and smile.
I'll spread my wings and let go of my fears and self hatred and finally fly.

I can't believe I just said that. Maybe it's because I'm at heather's apartment, sitting on my ass all weekend. There's nothing as theraputic as having no agenda. and watching movies. lots and lots of movies.

we went to see Gosford Park yesterday. for anyone listening, wait for it to get to blockbuster. I admit the ryan phillipe footage was very nice and it was respectable what they were trying to do, but it just didn't grab me like I hoped it would be. any good movie should have characters that you have some sort of an emotional response to- positive or negative. Gosford Park had a huge ensemble cast of unique characters that I had absolutely no feelings for either way.
no matter. watching Almost Famous, Bridget Jones' Diary, Sliding Doors, Pay it Forward, You've Got Mail more than made up for it. :)
moobie junkie. tried and true.

set fire to your grandma

****I finally heard what you were talking about liz.
candy shop will never be the same**********

I'm sorry for ignoring you lately, mr livejournal. I don't mean to. I've just been busy trying to squeeze these last few days of vacation for all they're worth. I start second semester on Tuesday.
I think I'm ready, though. A lot of work to take on, but ready. Sometimes I let myself feel like I'm not capable of succeeding in my classes. There's so much info to absorb, it's hard to handle. But now I can remember to breathe, keep everything IN PERSPECTIVE, and do as much as I can freaking stand (not that it's ever that simple when I'm actually in the moment). That's all I need.

AND I'm proud to announce that I have officially lost 15 pounds. I'm working out at aurora, pretending I'm a jock.......and watching what I eat. I feel a little better about myself. I feel in control of my self image. It's going to take me a long time to rid myself as thin and willowy. It's not who I am. Even if I did starve myself down to that size, I'll be sick, weak, and look like a deflated shell of my real self. I finally realized I don't want that. I want to be myself. Healthy and happy. Able to do whatever my heart chooses.

well, maybe not fly.......
literally anyway.
One day I'll look in the mirror and smile.
I'll spread my wings and let go of my fears and self hatred and finally fly.

I can't believe I just said that. Maybe it's because I'm at heather's apartment, sitting on my ass all weekend. There's nothing as theraputic as having no agenda. and watching movies. lots and lots of movies.

we went to see Gosford Park yesterday. for anyone listening, wait for it to get to blockbuster. I admit the ryan phillipe footage was very nice and it was respectable what they were trying to do, but it just didn't grab me like I hoped it would be. any good movie should have characters that you have some sort of an emotional response to- positive or negative. Gosford Park had a huge ensemble cast of unique characters that I had absolutely no feelings for either way.
no matter. watching Almost Famous, Bridget Jones' Diary, Sliding Doors, Pay it Forward, You've Got Mail more than made up for it. :)
moobie junkie. tried and true.